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Preview — El arrancacorazones by Boris Vian. El arrancacorazones by Boris Vian. Published February by Tusquets Editores first published To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

To ask other readers questions about El arrancacorazonesplease sign up. Lists with This Book. This book is not yet featured on Listopia. The story goes that the cause of death, rather the cause of the cause of death, which was a heart attack, was ’cause the film wasn’t any good. I don’t know about anyone else but if I had my expectations so lowered I might say to myself, “Well, it wasn’t that bad.

I already left my br Boris Vian apparently died while attending the premiere of the film version of I Spit on Your Grave. I already left my brain at the door of every Tim Allen movie ever made. At least I can be donated to science.

What if they are so bad that dying isn’t enough? Roald Dahl routinely spins in his grave whenever a sub-par filmic adaptations of his works is released he loaded up his coffin with things like pool cues and pencils so that the noise would reach Los Angeles.

There is no such thing as rest in peace when you’re an author with crappy film versions to their name.

Ken Kesey goris a head start but I’m sure he’s out there haunting some studio executive as I write this, all the same. Early birds getting the worm is a myth. The executive will be inspired to do a remake. Should have stayed at home What can I say? I’m a rat bastard on bboris road to staying a rat bastard. The film version of Heartsnatcher. A text synopsis of what could be a film version, if such things happened.

A jazz band jams.

It sounds like a bunch of guys getting on stage and playing the same notes over and over again. Vian was a jazz musician. Also, it all sounds exactly the same so it would be cheap to get some guys together to eek out a soundtrack. Timortis is played by the guy that you always mistake for Tom Cruises’ cousin William Map-what is his face but isn’t him. The camera is on the actor hired because he looks like someone you don’t know well enough to place that it’s not him.


He’s kneeling in the weak red sand doing some deep looking combination of Bill Paxton in Twister and Aragorn. It looks like flavored water that gets its borjs because it is made with bugs. And if you knew it was made with bugs you would feel too sick to drink it. The pretty much pink sand is sifting through his fingers and he’s about to ask why the dirt is this squished insides color when the camera isn’t on him anymore.

It’s on a large figured gal. The kind who is still the sex pot in sketch comedy shows because there are only so many actresses on those shows. Her breasts are so large you feel smothered just looking at them. That’s because the perverted camera operator is too close to them. He hasn’t seen a woman in weeks vlan he was in prison for a five year stint identity theft.

He played an actor in a movie when he wasn’t really that b-list actor from Law and Order. The large figured gal artancacorazones screaming like she thinks she’s Dawn French, or someone.

I can’t get away from her. The aerancacorazones in Timortis’ arrancacorqzones sifts into the awesome wind special effects. There’s enough grains to scratch his chin as he strokes the hairs on his thoughtless chin.

They stand to attention, still arrancacorazonds nothing. My maid is breastfeeding my children!

Arrancaorazones takes the time to be aroused. Of course, the problem would be solved if one of them is lying on their back. The sand is all up in the cracks and other places. The problem wasn’t solved by only one of them being on their backs. My bosom isn’t enough anymore. What arrancacorazonnes my babies scratch their precious milk fed faces on this sand? Timortis is an analrapist so he nods and accepts the credit, as due his profession, arrancacorazonees his lofty position of a raised arm behind her bum when the mother decides the actress depicts this in pure soap eyebrow arching that clasping them tighter with the effects of the new Wonderbra would be the ideal idea.

Underwire is the new prison wire. Timortis isn’t sure he prefers clasps in the front or the back but he is moving on to younger milk blris after today. Why keep milking the same old cow? The sand is blowing in the direction of a rock formation that resembles phallic and vaginal shaped backgrounds of music videos made by The Cure.

This way are the girls Timortis never fucked Clementine. She wouldn’t let another man near her after birthing three babies who would want to, after that? This film is unfaithful! I’ll never get another nights sleep.


I could have written a real goodreads review instead of being dumb online again. Well, did I really like this? It’s a bit like watching a Disney film with a too obvious moral of the story, at the end of its day. I mean to say one that is told to you what it is. That kind of obvious and yet we murderers miss what is explicitly told in our crappy film adaptations.

The twins, Joel and Noel, and especially their leader triplet Alfa Romeo, made me feel for their plight and tightened spirit in the grip of their over bosomed mama. I liked the kids being kids of their own world. That fit into the playful way that Vian writes. I like Boris Vian’s style of messed up cruelty and sticking your finger in the moving wheel impulse.

I did that once as a kid. I probably knew it wouldn’t be good and I still did it twelve was too old to do that, probably.

El arrancacorazones

Then it’s like you knew what would happen and it’s “Oh, I knew that would happen” as a disappointed letdown rather than a dawning horror of inevitability. What else was supposed to happen? Can I just say it’s dreamlike without sounding too obvious? The way you don’t know if you’re going to enter a room in a dream even if you are headed that way. Like satire that is satire of what you never needed pointed out.

Oh wait, that is what it is. I like the moment of staring the spinning wheel. I never do learn my lesson, in that time. Now can the dream end less obviously? I am chasing a bit of what I don’t already know. That you can’t be free in a cage Maybe a bit of freedom before you shut the door so to feel the loss.

So that’s what I want in a really great read. I did kinda like this. Love is more than past arms length, I guess.

El arrancacorazones by Boris Vian (3 star ratings)

Clementine would argue that you shouldn’t watch any films again if one could kill you. Would Boris Vian change his mind about risks if he knew arrzncacorazones he would die? Heaven help you if you can’t tell the difference between real love and this fake grabby kind, I think he wanted to say.

Does Heartsnatcher have any? I didn’t find it.